Friday, April 9, 2010

Spread Too Thin

So I am once again sitting around trying figure out what it is I want to write about this week, and I am drawing a complete blank. I feel like this blog has become more of a chore than anything which is really depressing because I really do love to write and to express my feelings but anymore that just doesn’t seem to be happening very easily. I think part of it is I don’t know what to think about things anymore, everything is just soo confusing and people coming to me asking me for help and honestly I don’t know how to help them. Part of me feels like I am just too busy to think anymore. I have soo many things on my plate that thinking about them all just makes me dizzy and so I have decided to shut off thinking period. I have put up a little ‘Out Fishing’ sign on my head but that doesn’t seem to stop the people coming to me for help. All I can do is say I don’t know and then they start to think I either don’t care or think their problems beneath me which is so not true I am just way to out of it to think. I have to spend all my time trying to keep up with my school work and classes, while keeping in mind that my AP exams are just around the corner and I am so not ready for them, but on top of that I have a dance recital I am not fully prepared for because of a recent injury and a musical in a few weeks that feels the need to take up hours of my time every day! It is soo much to handle, not to mention the fact that my mom is freaking out because the house wasn’t how she wanted it to be when she came home from England and on Sunday she leaves again for Dallas, and I have a solo vocal competition next Saturday that I am freaking out for because I don’t feel fully prepared for it either. I AM OFFICALLY SPREAD OUT TO THIN! The trouble is how do you get unspread out??? I obviously have no idea because I just seem to be spreading myself more and more thin and it is not doing me any good in any aspect of my life. Not only can I not help friends out with their troubles anymore I don’t know how to even approach my own worries. It seems like I am just pushing everything away and hoping it will solve itself but I doubt that will happen. I guess I just need to remember to breathe and get back into focus so the things I used to love will no longer be a chore.

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